Prayer for Grace

Sometimes it is so hard to live with grace. We all have those days when we want to crawl into bed and stay there until we can breathe again without feeling like whatever is hurting will stifle you. Not talking, not being spoken to, only sound is your own breathing…we have all been there right? But you cannot. You have to wake up and be grateful for the day, get your routine started and hope for the best. So I do. I wake up every morning next to a man who loves me even when I am unlovable and God knows how I love him right back with all that I am. I know without a doubt that I am blessed.
But there are still things that weigh on my heart, no matter how loved I am or how well I can love back. It is amazing to me how something that nourishes us can also destroy us. It seems too cruel to be real. But what can you do? You keep on keeping on, I assume. You bend and contort yourself to make sure you can handle the resistance that sometimes comes with life. I am guessing it is similar to a tree branch that grows heavy with snow. If it bends with the snow it will live to see another summer eventually or it can resist the snow, break and never again know what it will feel like without the extra weight. No sunshine on my face? Not happening. I am going to keep moving, keep my head up and hope for the sun to come back soon. It always does.
I was told once that if you believe you are who you want to be…you will become it. Seems silly, right? I thought so too but it’s true. So today I am going to wish myself whole again. I am going to take some of the pain I am carrying around with me and while I am not going to forget it, because I think we need to always remember pain… I am going to try hard to turn it into joy. I can do that. Right? Yeah, I think I can.
To everyone reading these words that may be hurting over something, either big or small, my heart goes out to you. Nothing worth anything comes without some pain. I wish you grace.

love, Romy

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Main Entry: 1grace
Pronunciation: \ˈgrās\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin gratia favor, charm, thanks, from gratus pleasing, grateful; akin to Sanskrit gṛṇāti he praises
Date: 12th century
1 a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b : a virtue coming from God c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace
2 a : approval, favor b archaic : mercy, pardon c : a special favor : privilege d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency e : a temporary exemption : reprieve
3 a : a charming or attractive trait or characteristic b : a pleasing appearance or effect : charm c : ease and suppleness of movement or bearing
4 —used as a title of address or reference for a duke, a duchess, or an archbishop
5 : a short prayer at a meal asking a blessing or giving thanks
6 plural capitalized : three sister goddesses in Greek mythology who are the givers of charm and beauty
7 : a musical trill, turn, or appoggiatura
8 a : sense of propriety or right b : the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful