Yesterday Is Ashes

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. 

-Eskimo Saying

Don't be like me. Don't spend years on ridiculous grudges and things you cannot change when you could spend that time loving someone freely and the way you BOTH deserve.  Don't not answer your cell phone when you know it is someone you love but might be too busy, caught up in your life or any of the other stupid excuses we use to shut others out. I am so ashamed of every single time I didn't take his calls. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself. 

My birth father has been in heaven for one year, today. The ache in my heart doesn't cease to remind me on a daily basis that he is gone. It is a tragedy on the highest level that I never called him dad or that I robbed him of getting to know me as a happy adult.  I miss him every day. I miss his huge smile that is a mirror of mine. I miss his laughter that was loud and obnoxious...much like mine. I miss his wicked sense of humor that I also inherited along with his lack of filter that gets me in trouble every so often and I am sure did the same for him.  I miss picking up the phone and hearing him say before he even said hello, "I love you so much my pretty girl".  He called me honey dew and pretty. I rarely remember him calling me by my first name.  He would end each call not by saying I love you, but "I love you so much, so very much".  

He died on a plane. Alone. Nothing in my life can change that.  I carry the pain every single day like a cloak.  

Don't be like me. Don't sit in your house destroyed a year after losing a loved one and pray that even though you refused to talk to them for years...that they knew you loved them. It isn't enough. 

Call. Write. Fly, run, drive to them. Grab their beautiful face in your hands and tell them that you adore them. DO not leave it up to that bullshit of  "they just know how I feel"  because it isn't enough. Not then. Not now.  Not a year after their death. 

love,

My father's daughter

I See

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a final mess but it's left me so empty
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh woah, oh woah...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

You and I will meet again

Blowing a kiss towards heaven tonight...

Feliz cumpleaños en el cielo, papi. Estás siempre en nuestros corazones.


In God’s care, you rest above, yet your spirit
Stays with us;  We are surrounded by your love.
I wish I could deliver this personally with a kiss
And lovingly tell you, you are desperately missed.

Te extraño cada día, mi querido padre.

love,

Romy

more perspective, moving quick

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight" ~Oscar Wilde

I have been in such a mood lately. Not a bad one, but a thoughtful one. I don't know how to write out what I am thinking...but I will.... eventually. I think I just really feel like being quiet for a bit.





 love, Romy

Everything Has Beauty

Before I turn 40 I will....

* Run a full or 1/2 marathon with my sister
* Abs of steel! Six pack!!
* Inner tube down Columbia River
* Climb 3 peaks with Troy
* Make it back home to the east coast
* Jump from a cliff
* Set up our campsite all by myself
* Have a picture make it to Explorer
* Run 5 miles barefoot
* Juice for 60 days
* Wake up while it is still dark to climb a mountain and photograph the sun rising
* Snowshoe 
* Finish short story and submit to various publications




Laugh, a lot. Love even more. 

love,
Romy

MCA Forever

When my best friend, Tina, and I were kids we were obsessed with boys. All sorts of boys. We had very different tastes except for three particular boys. Beastie Boys. We spent the summer of 7th grade memorizing every single word to their every song on License to Ill. Many years later, I still know every lyric to every song and I would bet huge money that my lovely Tina still does too.   Her mother used to say, "why can't you guys put that much effort into learning bible verses!". We wore out so many copies of that tape and could not wait for more! They kept giving and we kept memorizing.




My love for them never stopped. Every album. Every song.


MCA Forever. Godspeed.

love,
Romy

I Left The Gate Open

"Our thinking and our behavior are always in anticipation of a response. It is therefore fear-based." Deepak Chopra 


This is a quote I have been repeating to myself quite a bit lately. I feel like the last 8 months have been the most amazing and also some of the most difficult in recent years. I have been pushing myself so hard to accomplish certain things. I never wake up without saying a quick prayer giving thanks and asking for help to get through that day. I am pushing myself physically harder than I have in a really long time. Emotionally I am trying to be as open, as raw...as someone like me can be. That part is far harder than the physical part. 


For someone like me. 


love,
Romy

Butterflies

Promise. Never, ever again. <<33
                                                                        


You know I never want to let you down
It cuts me up to see you sad
And I wish that I could undo what I've done
Give back the faith in me you had

Oh yeah
Oh yeah

You know I love you more than anyone
But I get a little wrapped up in myself
But you know I never want to do you wrong
Bring into question what we have

Oh yeah
I know I let you down
I know I let you down
But you're giving me a chance

Oh yeah
I know I let you down
I know I let you down
But you're giving me a chance




Love,
Romy

Every Day Is Earth Day

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet, and the winds long to play with your hair. -- Kahlil Gibran

Happy Earth Day 2012!!!

What are your plans to celebrate our beautiful earth today?! Troy is out helping with the bike race that is going through town and when he comes back, we plan on going for a run before we head out for a glorious day of hiking!

Troy took this picture a few years ago of Tiger Creek, where we will be spending our day today. LOVE!

Earth Day is about trying to spread attention to environmental education in hopes to implement long-ignored solutions to environmental problems. Education is key, yes and whoever said that ignorance is bliss...well, I just do not agree at all. I am of the mindset that I want to be informed because it is truly the only way to fight and make a difference.

I won't go on and on preaching about how our beautiful earth is in jeopardy, how so many creatures on earth are seriously declining, or how our food supply is actually experiencing a shortage. Nope! Not me! You will get plenty of that all over the place today. *as you should!*

Instead I will just ask you (sweetly of course) to log off your computers, turn off your tv, grab your loved ones and go enjoy our beautiful world even if it is just for a few hours. It is truly a glorious world out there, let's enjoy it!

                                    Show compassion, for the world belongs to ALL of us. <3


We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
-- Native American Proverb


love,
Romy

'cause down the shore, everything is alright

I am kind of afraid to say it for fear of jinxing it but the weather in WA has been gorgeous! We spent the entire day outdoors and I loved it. Between running, playtime with the pugs on the grass, a bit of grocery shopping and sitting out in the sun watching Tour Of Walla Walla and taking pics. Once again, Troy took pics of the race and I took random pics. Like this one.

See that tattoo there? It is the first tattoo I ever got and I am not too fond of it. I had it done in some little tattoo shop, it took about 20 minutes and it cost $50.00. I wanted an American flag and the guy was like "oh, let's put it on there like it is waving!"! He was cute and I said sure! Bad idea. I guess at some point I will get it redone or covered up. Who knows. I may just leave it alone to remind me of that time in my life.

Troy set up chairs for us to watch the race and as cyclists were flying by, sweating profusely and working their butts off,  the husband was snapping pics like crazy and I was eating salt water taffy while teasing Troy about everything under the sun.
                                                             Mmmm, so good.

Salt water taffy totally reminds me of my childhood growing up in Jersey.With the exception that these are vegan and I doubt the ones from the Jersey Shore were/are. Even though I spent over 20 years living in So CA , I was born and lived in NJ until I was 10 years old and went back twice in my adult years for a short while. I have no idea if I consider myself a Jersey girl or not. I guess it depends on the day and my mood. Today I am feeling Jersey.

I have always been a sugar-a-holic but lately each time I eat anything with refined sugar, I end up with a major headache and a horrific stomach ache. I tell Troy I am allergic to sugar and he tells me that the issue is that I eat so many fruits and veggies every single day that my body is no longer breaking down sugar correctly. Something like that. All I heard was - sugar equals pain.

Stay tuned for a 3am blog because I can't sleep due to my body screaming at me for the taffy. :/

love,
Romy

Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

I truly believe in love at first sight. It happened with my husband and it happened today with a little lady named Petunia and her mommy is my dearest girlfriend in the entire world.

Okay, her name is not Petunia but until I hear otherwise that is what I am going to call her. When Tina called me a few days ago to tell me she was having a little girl, I just started to cry. Tina has been my sister by heart for more years than I can count. We met in grade school and stayed close all these years. She has always been one of my biggest supporters, loved me when I least deserved it, my cheerleader, one of my "first" calls with good/bad/sad/amazing news, my conscience, my backbone when I felt too weak, her family is my extended family and I love Tina as much as I love my own sisters...she has been a huge part of my heart for nearly my entire life and always will be. To know that this beautiful woman is going to have another little girl to bring into our fold of girl power is pretty amazing. It is surreal actually. I wish Petunia to have a childhood friend for her entire life that has will be even close to what my Tina has been to me.  And now I am crying again.

Welcome to our family, little girl, you could not have better parents and I promise to spoil you rotten. I already am loving her little "no paparazzi" pose!

Oh and your dad, Mike, is pretty great too. He just is no Tina. :)

Well, today has been a freaking fantastical day! I will post a bit more about our day in our daily pic post but right now let me show you our delish dinner.

Vegan chickpea sandwich for me and aloo curry for Troy. Mmmm. We also split a raw, vegan chocolate cake that um...was half gone before our food arrived. It was so good we could not wait till after we finished!

The sandwich was so so good but I could not finish it because it was massive! Troy informed me what I have to order next time so he can decide if he wants something different at some point in the future. I like to try a little bit of everything while he finds one thing he loves and sticks to it! Oh. Good thing :).


love,
Romy

I wanna breathe, I wanna grow

I made gluten and dairy free cupcakes last night and I kept randomly calling out from the kitchen while I was preparing them "who has an awesome wife?" and then before he could answer I would sing, "you do, you doooooo".  Poor guy.

So back to the cupcakes, they were delish! I even made gf and df icing. They looked so cute all healthy and frosted. I would love to show a picture of them but...after I made them, I put them in a container anddddd then put the container on the stove. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. Needless to say the frosting melted. They look like sad little soggy, naked cupcakes.

So instead, here...look at this pretty picture of fruit that I did not take.

You can barely open our fridge because of the massive amounts of fruits, veggies and coconut milk containers. Not to mention how much fruit I have laying around the kitchen and dining room in bowls. Love.

I have been cooking up a storm lately because Troy is doing the Paleo Plan for Athletes and I stick to a vegan diet...so while we match up for most things, main dinner meals are vastly different.  He is feeling FANTASTIC on the diet, never hungry, no bloat and tons - tonsss of energy! Yah!

That's it for me today. I found a list of great running songs, so I am off to download a bunch of them and update my iPod so I can go for a much needed run. Oh and tonight we are going out to dinner with Jeremy! No cooking for meeee!!!


“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” 
― Rumi



love,
Romy

Placed In A Queue

I have been feeling so fantastic lately. Better than I have in years, if I was to be honest. Physically I am so much stronger then I was a few years ago, I haven't felt this great since ...ugh, a long time.

I also have guilt about it. I read RA boards and 90% of them are in so much pain. They can't walk, they can barely type, they for sure can't exercise, simple things like cooking or doing laundry are beyond anything they can do. I read a post yesterday about how someone could not wait to share with everyone where to find the longest straws so that they can drink without having to lift their glasses. You would not believe how thrilled people were for the information. It broke my heart for them.

Why? Well, because I can lift my glass, I haven't had to think about anything like that in years. I can not only walk but I can run...and I do nearly every single day. I walk my three dogs for a mile or more daily. I run up and down our stairs to do laundry at least 4x a week, I cook several meals a week, I can dance, lift anything, turn any knob or open lids, I can do push ups and sit ups. I can sleep on an air mattress on the floor during any weather on a camping trip, wake up and feel great. I can swing on a swing while pumping my legs furiously to try to get higher than Troy. I laugh a lot too. Constantly. I live my life outside of RA. I am planning on running several races this year and am even doing some half marathons in CA with my older sister and a bunch of girlfriends. Next year I am doing a triathlon with my husband. Those are my goals. These are the things I train for every single day, my hopes. I plan weekend trips with my husband. We schedule hikes to the top of peaks. We run around the house being insanely silly without ever being scared that I will get hurt.  I stand up for hours in the kitchen cooking new dishes for us nearly every day. I thrive every single day.

The guilt of being able to feel this good is something I think about. I read these people's words...they are pleading for relief, they are praying for the answer to a life without pain, they are trying to hold on to their dignity as they lose further use of their limbs. Some are so angry, others are broken and several seem without hope. It is just heart wrenching and I ask myself  -"why is that not me?".  Is it because I am diligent about my medication? Can't be...because they are too. Is it because I eat very well? So do a lot of them. Is it the meds I take? Several take the same shot as I do. I don't know what it is. I don't know why I am doing so well. Trust me, this fucking disease has brought me to my knees several times. I have been furious with my body for failing me. Furious at every single person who ran past our home while I was on the couch praying for relief. I have had countless days where I laid in bed and prayed to not wake up the next morning because the pain was too much. I have literally screamed in pain when just trying to stand or sit. My hands have been so swollen that they failed to pick anything up. My husband hugging me caused me anxiety because it hurt so badly. But now...now I am in remission. I know I am not cured. There is no cure but God, do I feel great. Why did I get the golden ticket? Some of these people have been in so much pain for years, decades...even longer. I was in major pain for the first year after being diagnosed and after that it came in waves while my meds were sorted out. So many never ever get any relief.  Here I am able to function as if I don't have this horrible disease. Don't get me wrong, I am so damn grateful and even more importantly...I am aware that it could last another month or forever. No one knows for sure. The only thing that I do know is that I will never be disabled, disfigured or lose ability to use my limbs. That right there is pure and simple dumb luck. I knew enough of my body to know when something wasn't right and went to the dr. right away. Treatment starting at the very start of my condition made all the difference in the universe. For me. Not for everyone. Pure and dumb luck.

I woke up this morning and felt a bit of pain in my left leg. I thought, omg no...it's back. After the morning brain fog lifted, I realized that no...it was just muscle pain from exercising.

love,
Romy

Blast To The Roof

I never, ever take one step for granted. Running is a passion for me, not just a "race" or a look at what I can do...it is a gift that I never forget to be grateful for. I may not always be able to run but I will always remember the feeling of freedom in every stride, the feeling of happiness each time my foot hits the pavement.

love,
Romy

Every rule I had you breakin'

I can't sleep. This is not a new thing, I have been having a hard time sleeping for nearly 6 months now. I go to bed with my husband and I end up laying there for hours after he has already fallen asleep. I stare at the ceiling, I read my Kindle, listen to my iPod, read the news on my droid, play Angry Birds and try not to be jealous of how soundly my husband can sleep. The thing is, I am tired...but I can't sleep.

I have tried everything that you can possibly imagine to try to make me sleep but nothing works. I mentioned it when I went to see my dr. and she recommended sleeping pills but ugh, I hate to take medication unless I really have to. I eventually fall asleep around 2am or so but I like to wake up rather early so it is never enough sleep. I don't nap too often so you would think I would be exhausted come bed time, right? Wrong! I am also rarely ever tired during the day and typically have all sorts of energy.

So what I do is, lay in bed and come up with things I want to or try. I check off things on my mental To-Do list. I add things to my mental To-Do list. I end up jumping on my Kindle to look stuff up, wake up Troy to tell him about random things I think we should do, take notes on my droid and I eventually wear myself out. Eventually. Not before I think too much. Way too much thinking. I try to fight the urge to get out of bed because I tell myself that if I am laying down, I will fall asleep. Pfth. Tonight I decided to not fight it, jumped out of bed and came to write a blog about how I can't sleep.

Check.

I am going back in. Wish me luck.

love,
Romy

'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Spring cleaning is not just for the house! I have been sorting through various aspects of my life, trying to figure out what to change, get rid of and focus more on.

I decided that I have a lot of work to do. To start with, I am needing to take a break from social media, ie - FB and things similar to that. It just takes up so much of my time and the reality is that with warm weather coming - I just rather be outdoors or focusing on bettering myself. I am pretty obsessed with only wanting to spend time on positive things that will benefit me physically, mentally or emotionally. While I adore my family and friends, FB is just a huge time waster for me. I can easily pick up the phone and call or send text messages. I have so many different races and a few triathlons I want to do within the next year, I want to re-sculpt my body to make it as efficient as possible. I want to be ready so if/when I fall out of remission that I don't think, "I wish I had done more when I was pain-free". I have been working out quite a bit but I want to do more. I am also fully committed to a 100% plant based diet on top of everything else and that takes time! Sometimes I feel like I am in a race against time because I don't know for sure when or if I will wake up one morning and be unable to function without a lot of pain. So maybe it is more like a race against my own body. I want to gulp in as much life as I possibly can. No one can know for sure what tomorrow brings, I am aware of that. I just also know for a fact that I don't want to waste any time, not anymore. The bottom line is I just want to enjoy every minute I can, out in the sun by myself and with my husband. Enjoy evenings at home with just him...not on a computer or cell. Plus, I have three little roly poly pugs who insist my arms be free as often as possible when I am home!

I love blogging and I don't think I could ever stop, but it isn't the same as it doesn't take up huge chunks of time. I suffer from not being able to do anything without obsessing. I get an idea and that's it. I take it and run. It becomes a huge focus in my life and before I know it, I am totally swept up.

Speaking of swept up, photography is my newest thing. Be prepared for a lot more pics! See that? I replace one obsession with another. Ah, life.

love,
Romy

Well hellooo !

Ack! I have been so busy lately that I have sort of forgotten about my little blog!

On top of the bazillion things I have been busy with, my husband and I started a 365 pic a day blog. One of us has been posting an image once a day for the last 29 days and will continue to do so for the next 336 days. I tend to ramble when I post a pic while Troy is the more silent type :). Check out the Day 1 blog for more info.

Anyway, here is the link if you want to check it out!

I promise to be back soon'ish!

love,
Romy

Never Means Soon

I spend too much time trying not to think about it. I spend so much time trying not to think about it that I end up thinking about it even more. So I tell myself, "it isn't worth thinking about it, just stop!" I end up doubling the amount of time I think about it by trying not to think about it.

Hopeless. Just like it.




You'll never see the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow - the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, but You don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you

You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie


love, Romy

Feels So Rough

When you realize that someone you loved has become someone you used to know...

You learn to cope, you make changes to your life. You no longer go to them for support, friendship, advice, love or whatever it was that they were adding to your every day. You move on. Eventually over time it becomes a distant memory. You start to forget what it was like when they were there. When they were the person you went to for ^^ that stuff up there.

How long does it take? A month? Four months? Is there a formula on how to forget someone who you shared a part of yourself with? Nope. Not so much.

So you move on. Stop yourself from reaching for them. Tell yourself that you will be fine, just fine. Right? Right.

After all, life happens.




love,
Romy

Um hm.

I have been accused of being a dreamer my entire life. I usually take it as a compliment, because even if I choose the hard road, I typically end up at my destination. Insanity or tenacity? Who knows but it works for me.

                                                                                 

If I could focus on one thing at one time instead of juggling a billion ideas at the same time, life would be so much easier. So much. Maybe not as fun though.

love, Romy

Ticket To Ride

I have been so bad about blogging!! I think about it, I start to open it up but well...it just doesn't happen!

I have so much going on right now with training for a few races this year, a few projects that I have put off for far too long and well - I have been obsessive about our eating habits. I mean obsessive. I have been juicing every single day and I actually did a juice fast for a short time, and while it was challenging (to say the least) it was totally totally worth it. I am thinking of doing one 10 day juice fast a month, but who knows! I will see how it goes.

Troy has been a very good sport about my food/fitness insanity, thank GOD , but that isn't to say he doesn't have moments of sadness when he realizes I will never cook meat again. Wait until he sees what I have up my sleeve starting next month!

I am not sure if it is because spring is in the air or just because lately I feel like I have not had any real stress/drama or anything like that BUT I have just been in such a fantastic mood! Maybe it is the hard core workouts?! It could very well be that I am married to a wonderful man who shows me so so much love and support. Who knows but I feel better than I have in ages.

xo - Romy

Scout

Wouldn't it be fantastic if you could extract yourself, words you said, things you did...parts of you that you shared, from someone that you no longer found worth you? You know, kind of delve into their memories and pull out any parts or pieces of yourself that you may have left behind. 

Hmm. Or is it better to let them have it...and know that you are still whole even without those parts you shared and better yet... that they will never get another piece of you?

Who knows. 

Crazy thoughts on a night I can't sleep. 

love, Romy

We're dealing in the limits

Sometimes do you just not care about being nice?  The last thing you feel like doing is pretending to actually care about how the barista's day is going.  You have zero desire to listen to a friend wax poetic about her husband/job/car/new boob job. You seriously could not care less that Justin Timberlake is finally engaged to that chick from 7th Heaven. You want to tell your college frenemy that no, you still think she is an ahole and yes, you still hold a grudge...add a PS to that and let her know that her crows feet make you happy.

Or maybe you wish you could write on FB about how effin rad it is that your ex bf/gf/friend is frumpy as hell and is married to an equally frumpy partner. Reach through your computer and smack around anyone who still thinks that LOLcats are humorous and POSTS them. Wish to high heaven that there was an unlike button...no wait, let's call it a side eye button, on Facebook. You know, side eye...when you can't believe someone actually said what they just did...give them the side eye. Add a sneer for an extra oomph.

Sigh. 

Okay, the truth is that none of this would make me feel better. Nope. I would actually feel horrible. Well, except for maybe the LOLcats thing only because that is a true pet peeve. Ha, petpeeve.

love, Romy

This I Swear.

A month or so ago, Troy bought me a necklace with a small charm that has one of my favorite quotes, "it takes courage to grow up and be who you really are" by ee cummings. I have not yet taken it off.

It seemed pretty fitting because for a while I forgot to be who I am. I have been beating myself up for it for a long while but you know, I realized in the last few days that I have had enough. I make mistakes, yes. A lot of them. I will continue to make mistakes too. You know what though? It's okay because I am learning and refuse to make the same mistakes twice.

I am worth more than my flaws. I am also warm, loving, loyal, thoughtful, funny, decent and a lot more.

I won't ever be a coward again when it comes to who I am. I won't ever forget to be who I am.

Promise.


love, Romy

Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be

Um hm...2012!

There are so many things I want to accomplish this year! I like the thought of a fresh new year to start over. Wipe the slate clean, all shiny and new. I won't call anything I want to do resolutions, because well - blah. The word even bothers me. How about .... goals? Okay, yes goals!

Here is a list of some of my goals! Ready?

1. Make three new vegetarian meals a week. Brand new ones that we have never tried before. 
2. Finally do it...order the supplies and make jewelry. I have always wanted to and this year I am finally going to do it.
3. Run a 10k with the husband. He recently started running and I think it would be something pretty awesome to do together. 
4. Look into joining an RA support group in town. If there isn't one...start one. Not a "woe is me" one, but one where we realize that we aren't victims but superheros. <3 
5. Find a job that I love to do. Something that makes me feel like I accomplished something and didn't just get up to go to work. I haven't felt like that since I worked as a counselor. Fix that. It's time.
6. Road trip with the BF, her husband and Troy. Brew pub crawl? YES PLEASE!
7. Wash my mouth out with soap. I don't mean stop cursing because well...I can't. I mean stop the negativity.
8. Try to really bring as much light into our lives as possible.
9. Donate more of my time. Spend more time doing things that feed souls. 
10. Visit family. All of them. 
11. Look into a mentoring program. I have been talking to Troy about it for ages...maybe it is time to finally do it.
12. Be who I am. 
13. More nights under the stars with my husband.
14. Salad with every single meal. 
15. Finally go to Honduras and lay flowers at BOTH my father's graves. (**this one means a lot to me**)
16. Beat Troy at Words With Friends. 
17. More dinner parties. Try out #1 on them. <3
18. Love. Love. Love.
19. Take a trip with my younger sister. She is absolutely one of my favorite people in the world and I need to spend more time with her. 
20. Paint the stairway leading to the basement. It's time.
21. Hear more. No, I don't mean listen...I mean HEAR what people are saying. Anyone can listen, I want to hear better. 
22. Dance more. I love to dance and lately I just haven't felt like doing much of it. 
23. Buy a bartending book and learn how to make amazinggg cocktails! 
24. Get my fortune read! I love that silly stuff! I don't know if I believe in it but I love it.
25. Get up and exercise even when my body/joints scream at me to sit down and feel sorry for myself.
26. Sketch. I love to do it, I just haven't felt the desire in so long. 
27. Be more patient. I have zero patience when it comes to certain things and as I get older I realize more and more that I need to truly work on that. 
28. Blog more. 
29. Forgive and forget. Let go of things that trouble me, people that hurt me. Loving someone sometimes is just not enough. 
30. Love because I do, not because I should. 

Whew, it is going to be a busy year.

love, Romy