Never Means Soon

I spend too much time trying not to think about it. I spend so much time trying not to think about it that I end up thinking about it even more. So I tell myself, "it isn't worth thinking about it, just stop!" I end up doubling the amount of time I think about it by trying not to think about it.

Hopeless. Just like it.




You'll never see the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow - the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, but You don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you

You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie


love, Romy

Feels So Rough

When you realize that someone you loved has become someone you used to know...

You learn to cope, you make changes to your life. You no longer go to them for support, friendship, advice, love or whatever it was that they were adding to your every day. You move on. Eventually over time it becomes a distant memory. You start to forget what it was like when they were there. When they were the person you went to for ^^ that stuff up there.

How long does it take? A month? Four months? Is there a formula on how to forget someone who you shared a part of yourself with? Nope. Not so much.

So you move on. Stop yourself from reaching for them. Tell yourself that you will be fine, just fine. Right? Right.

After all, life happens.




love,
Romy

Um hm.

I have been accused of being a dreamer my entire life. I usually take it as a compliment, because even if I choose the hard road, I typically end up at my destination. Insanity or tenacity? Who knows but it works for me.

                                                                                 

If I could focus on one thing at one time instead of juggling a billion ideas at the same time, life would be so much easier. So much. Maybe not as fun though.

love, Romy